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I’m in a reminiscing place tonight. Started with a Bon Jovi song on the radio, which always has and always will make me think of Erin. And I struggle with my grief, but at the same time wonder if I’m even entitled to grieve? Really, who am I, just a childhood friend. We drifted apart after high school. But I can’t help the fact that my heart hurts tremendously for those left behind.

And as the song on the radio changes, so do my thoughts. Guns ‘n Roses’ “I Used To Love Her”. And I’m transported to Big Al’s basement, hanging out during a Just Us practice. How I adored just listening to them play.

Another song comes on that reminds me of someone who broke my heart. With time and wisdom I now see that I’m better off, that we were incompatible. He’s moved on and he’s happy, I’ve moved on and I’m happy and grateful for the life I have.

And then my Blackberry alerts me to a new message. My husband telling me he loves me from the other room.

I smile.